The best friend she had ever had
by joshparrilla
Summary: After season 9 finale, I explore Jo and Sid's friendship and how much they mean to each other. Showing how they comfort each other and how valuable their friendship is.


Sid parked his car outside and texted Jo letting her know he was waiting. Several minutes after he had texted her, he still couldn't see her walking out of the apartment. He had a feeling something was wrong. Sid got out of his car and walked inside the building, he couldn't leave without finding out what was going on.

"Josephine Danville, open the door. I texted you twenty minutes ago and you're still here. We're going to be late for the party." He said as he knocked on her door.  
"I'm not going!" She replied without opening the door.  
"Jo, open the door."  
"Leave me alone, Sid. I don't want to go to this thing."  
"Just open the door and talk to me."

Jo opened the door slowly and he could see the tears in her eyes. Ever since Mac had announced he was engaged to Christine, Sid had seen something changing in Jo's eyes…in Jo's life. He always knew how she felt about her boss but he had never been able to talk to her about it. Even though she loved knowing about other people's lives and helping them, she refused to talk about her personal life and allow others to help her. But as he stood in her apartment watching her break down, Sid knew he had to do something to help her.

"You should be at the engagement party." Jo looked at Sid from the couch as he made her a cup of tea.  
"I think Mac won't mind, if I get there a little bit later."  
"Sid, really I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

He handed her the cup of tea and sat next to her. For a few minutes he just watched her drink the tea and said nothing. He wanted to give her time to process all her sadness and then he would attack her with all the questions he had. Sid loved Jo as though she was his sister. She was the only one who knew about his illness and the only one he trusted enough to share all his secrets with. In Jo, he had found the friendship he had been looking for during all his life. Yes, he had the rest of the team and they were all a big family, but she was much more special than the rest of them. He loved Jo because she was a great human being who always put others before her, but this time he wanted her to put herself before anybody else.

"I've given you enough time, start talking."  
"There is nothing to talk about."  
"Oh really? Nothing like the fact that you are in your pajamas when you should be dressed up for Mac and Christine's engagement party? Nothing like the fact that your whole life changed the minute Mac said he was engaged? Jo, you don't fool me."  
"I don't care about Mac and his engagement."  
"You don't? Then why aren't you at that party right now?" He took her hand and held it as tight as his weak body could. "I know how much you love him and I know how much this hurts you."  
"Why can't he know that? Why didn't he realize it?" She wrapped her knees with her arms and allowed herself to let all the tears flow. "He is the one who should know I love him!"  
"Mac is too blind to see that, Jo. You should have told him when you had the chance; and believe me, you had the chance."  
"When? I never had a chance with Mac Taylor. He just looks at me the way a brother looks at his sister. I don't love him that way. I am in love with him, Sid."  
"Yes, I know you are. You've been in love with him for a long time, I can see it in your eyes, but you are the one who got him into this relationship."  
"What do you mean?"  
"You made him that online profile and that's how Christine found him." He made a pause to figure out the best way to say what he was going to say next. "What were you thinking when you did that?"  
"I never thought he was going to fall for any of the online women. I just thought he was going to laugh about it and forget it… I guess I was wrong."  
"The minute you saw him with Christine, you should have told him how you felt about him."  
"I couldn't, Sid, I couldn't."

Jo never had a friend like Sid. She was so grateful for him and their friendship. Meeting him was one of the best things that had happened to her while working at the New York Crime Lab. She loved her work and her teammates, but Sid was like an older brother. Trust was something Jo didn't have with the people around her, but it was something she always had with Sid. That night as he held her and allowed her to cry over a lost love, she understood he was and would always be the best friend she had ever had. He stayed with her and didn't go to the engagement party. He stayed up all night with her talking about different things just to keep her mind off Mac Taylor's wedding.

"Ready to go?" Sid asked her as she walked out of her apartment.  
"I will never be ready for this night, but it's his wedding and I have to be there."  
"You'll be just fine." He looked at her. "But if at any point you feel like you're about to break down, you just hold onto my arm and I will protect you."

She looked at him and could see how the chemotherapy was slowly starting to make his hair fall. He was much thinner than two weeks ago when he had first started the chemo and you could see the black shadows beneath his eyes that showed how tired he really was. Jo thought that she should be the one taking care of him but for some reason he didn't want that, all he wanted was to make sure she was okay. It broke her heart to know that her best friend was going through so much pain and she couldn't help him, she couldn't make him better.

The memory of those two days in which Sid had comforted her over Mac's engagement and wedding echoed in Jo's mind as she got dressed. She had been crying all night long and you could see in her face how exhausted she was. Her red and swollen eyes were just the visible sign of her pain, her sadness. Her best friend had died the night before and she had been the last one to hear him breathe, hear him talk. She could still feel his fingers wrapped around her wrist as he told her he was ready to go. Jo had never felt so much pain before, she knew her soul had broken the minute she heard the flat line. As she stood in front of her mirror putting on some make-up to hide her fatigue, she could feel the huge void in her life. Sid, her Sid, was gone forever.

The whole team decided to have a small ceremony for Sid; it was what he had wanted. It was nothing fancy, just a reunion with his family and closest friends. When Jo had called the rest of the team the night before to let them know the heartbreaking news, they decided that she should be the one talking at the ceremony. She didn't really want to do that, but she felt that she owed him that. He had been the one to take care of her in the last years, now it was her turn to take care of him…to make sure he could go in peace.

"You can do this." Mac kissed her cheek as he helped her stand in front of everyone. "He is watching over you." He squeezed her hand and went back to his seat.

Tears rolled down her face and she had to clear her throat a few times before she was able to start speaking. She remember how Sid used to joke about her crying. "You are about to make a lagoon over here! Stop the tears before we drown." He used to say every time she cried over Mac. Jo wiped her tears away and, she had no idea how, gained strength to start talking.

"Sid was the most amazing person I've ever met. When I first got to the Crime Lab, he saw me as the new smart-ass detective in town. Later on, once our friendship started, he confessed to me that he was shock by how much I knew about crimes. But in reality it was me who had been shocked by him. Everyone who knew Sid knows I don't lie when I say he wasn't just a regular M.E. He was much more than that, even though sometimes he didn't believe it." She closed her eyes to push the tears away. "When Sid first told me about his illness, he had to be the one comforting me. We were at the morgue, his natural habitat, and I begged him to promise me that wasn't goodbye. It was as I heard the breathtaking news that I understood Sid was my best friend. Through the years, I got to know this amazing man and working by his side was a blessing." Jo looked up to the sky and smiled as though she could see his face. "Thank you. Thank you for having my back. Thank you for allowing me to enter your life. Thank you for trusting me with everything that ever happened to you. Thank you for taking care of me even though you were the one who needed to be taken care of. Thank you for entering my life and making it much better." By then, she was crying already. "I will never forget him. I promise, here in front of all his family and friends, that I will not let anyone forget how amazing he was." She cleared her throat one last time. "I love you, Sid."

She threw a red flower on top of his casket and went to stand next to Adam who held her close to prevent her from falling. As they lowered the coffin, Jo saw a part of her life going away without her being able to stop it. Her best friend was not going to be there the next time she went to work. He was not going to hold her ever again as she cried over Mac. He was not going to the cinema with Ellie and her during the weekends. He was not going to tell her how much he loved her and how much he enjoyed her company. She knew she would never forget Sid, but she was afraid, that wherever he went, he wouldn't remember her.

Jo put on her sunglasses and walked away from everyone else, she wanted to be alone. As she got further and further away from the crowd, she could hear Sid's voice inside her head telling her that he had no pain and that it was going to be okay. It was his voice that helped her keep on living until her last day on Earth, because, no matter what happened from that day on, Jo knew Sid had been the best friend she had ever had.


End file.
